Jezebel’s SPIRIT

“What can I say?”

Why ask me that question, when you know that I’ve been feeling this way? At a distance, like stars, that pass through and dance amongst the Milky Way. This isn’t like the movies…they say as I continue to walk with the world. The blade that I wield is sharp yet it is still see-through. Through me, I see clearly amidst counter-attacking my intricate feelings for the grass and the miracles behind the vast history. Now you see, this is true. Maybe I’m destined for a luxurious place in the pit of agony that plays jazz while a beautiful woman sings the midnight blues. At the end of the day, It was always your point of view.

“I know one day, I’ll become more than just a fantasy.”

“Why do you say these things, and act like they’re a part of our reality?” I asked. 

It’s push and pull, and sometimes it’s maybe more of me…don’t you see? I’m giving you options, and various tools bigger than what life could be. The crucial turn of events, the mental and physical moments, while we’re feeling the feeling of distress. I run time and time again. Your words are gravitational, pulling me closer with ease. A presentation on catastrophe and seduction, I get it, please…just ask yourself this.

“How can you gain more, if you have nothing left to give to me?”

I just took your mind into a different world, filled with glorious hopes and dreams. The colors are bright within this dark room that I reside in. The world that thrives off of spirit and determination. A relentless struggle to lose the natural way. Authenticity hides behind their voices every single day. What I offer in this lonely world only gets better from here, and I mean that with all my heart. I’ll caress your bedside, beneath your barriers, until the seem starts to break apart. I’m listening to the lost souls cry for a second chance, as you continue to play with your broken harp. Jezebel…

“If only I could stay longer.” She said.

“I wouldn’t want that to be a burden. Until you’re truly free from all the visions that you see.”

“I see us…controlling everything that is, our desire.”

…understand that I am tired. I’m understanding the overzealous nature of not knowing how to nurture your overzealous behavior. I’m not a savior…as they say. I'm no one in the eyes of man and spirit. A simple sentence but in the depths of my unborn son, I’ll value his life and I hope that he can hear this. How can you withstand such testimony against time, when this whole time, I thought I was doing you a favor…I know in the end I’ll be more than just words on thin material, thinner than a piece of paper. Your poetic tone of voice was soft and gentle. You spoke through the trees, as the wind stopped and guided you. I don’t blame you. I blame myself, why do I feel so shameful?…

“You wanted this to happen…didn’t you?” Her gaze was so painful.

“I didn’t mean to…”

I’m only human now…I  know this part isn’t congruent. Add up the standards and devious banters and now we’re both going through it… 

“In different lands, I would’ve brought you something new.”

Jezebel, please…

We both know that’s not true.