Kalon’s HEART
They were all wrong.
I’ll whisper this into my ears and I promise you, it won’t take long for me to forget it all. I’m untouched now. I’m secretly waiting for your arrival. I’m hunting down these favorable words to make ends meet with your past lives that sit high in the clouds. I never knew there could’ve been another answer for war. I tried and tried but they would always say “Better luck next time!” Well this time, I honestly feel as if it will be better than before. This time there aren't referees, false prophets, or people with mixed personalities. I’m confined in walls that don’t hold back from the truth and show vulnerability. The pain of it all, like untethered soil, the minerals feel rich in veins, with no sense of urgency.
“You are gifted beyond measure.”
You’re the only one who would say that to me. Now it’s starting to become clear, there’s been a different sight that I have been eyeing you see. I’m distant from myself, but your love, this helps. The glue to my mind, I’m thinking of you and nothing else. They don’t know better. In the wintertime, I’m still warm. In despair, we mourn. They scorn. Countless times, no reaction from me, but in the back of my mind, there’s conflict constantly circulating different outcomes that can casually persuade your mind and outperform. I’m sorry that it has to be this way. I promise I won’t be the same man from yesterday. My heart hears this in my mind and begins to make a song out of it. I listen to it every day. There’s a new verdict now, my philosophy has changed.
“You must love drinking poison.”
“What doesn’t kill you, will make you stronger.”
I said this and it didn’t go on for any longer. The cycle is continuous, with an occasional “sit and ponder.” Those lessons mean more than life itself. I’m well aware of the dangers that go into living inside a broken-down heart. The vital message for yourself, is that yearn for those to play their part. The nights are longer when you start to realize that you aren’t as awake as you thought you were from the start. They laugh and I understand why. I gave myself hope that reached higher than the stars in the sky. Conflicted emotions that can’t be contained, but I express the difficulties in each and every way. Disregarded before, but how long can you be segregated from yourself? How easy is it for you to forget how to ask for help?
“All I remember is that person, and how good certain moments felt.”
The desire in me. The ambition to seek recognition for my dedication to the principles I keep. I am not weak. I am human, and it’s in my nature. To peel off from me to fit another legislature. I feel everything. I conduct the biggest lie. I resurrect my true feelings and forget more or less this time. I’m purposeful. I bargain with my defeat while the story keeps going. I’m writing another chapter. They tell me all the time that you never know if this will be a happily ever after.
“Who cares?”
I take full advantage of the human struggle and mask it with my night affairs. I take risks and give gifts with nothing left to give. This is how I live. The feeling of euphoric energy that turns to bliss. How can you disregard this? I conclude my heart in this story because I can never live up to my true expectations. I expect more from myself but it always leads back to heavy contemplation. One thing is for sure…
They were all wrong.